Fireproof: The Movie

I always like to support great faith-based projects, so I wanted to take a serious moment to encourage you to go out to the movies with your significant other and see Fireproof this Friday, September 26, 2008.  This movie has Kirk Cameron in it who, as you may know, was the captain of the Starship Enterprise in the late 1960s.  This movie also comes from the same people who brought you Facing the Giants (a great movie) and Flywheel.  If this movie is anywhere what Facing the Giants was, then I guarantee (no refunds without a receipt and three forms of ID) that you are going to enjoy this flick.

Bonus Tip for a Great Movie and Dating Experience: In an effort to “beat the recessionary mood” and save a few dollars, feel free to ask your wife to bring the “big purse.”  My best tip is to fill the purse up with a few small snacks from home; my favorite movie treats for the wife to bring in her purse are the travel microwave, some bags of Orville Nerdenbacher popcorn, a six-pack of root beer, a small cooler and a 100 foot extension cord.

Enjoy the show!

What Would You Give to be an Oxymoron?

I was thinking about a funny oxymoronic quote that I recently read. Apparently, someone very smart once said:

“I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”

Regarding this quote, I want to introduce some trivia. Did you, the astute reader of my blog, know that President Garfield was ambidextrous and could write in Latin with his left hand and Greek with his right? It is also believed, though not confirmed, that, at the same time, Garfield could write French with his left foot and Russian with his right foot, though his teachers always gave him bad marks for his penmanship and for unsightly foot stains on his papers. Vice-President Odie, on the other hand, much like Dan Quayle, was unable to write in any language, including English.

Anyway, thinking about this neat oxymoronic quote caused me to think along the same lines; that’s why I’m writing this post with my left foot. Just kidding. I’m using my right foot. But, beyond my physical dexterity, I used my mental dexterity to think of some other interesting twists to the above-mentioned line of oxymoronic thinking. Here is what I have come up with in the three and four-thirds minutes that I allotted to this exercise:

“I’d give my right eye to have perfect vision.”

“I’d give my left leg to be able to dance the two-step.”

“I’d give my left lung to be able to quit smoking.”

From the Barista – Order Number 003

JoAnn, a coworker and a great friend, gave me a 50g jar of Arengga Coffee Alamid last year for my birthday.  This coffee is the famed “Philippine Civet (or Luwak) Coffee,” which is produced when a very shaky, caffeine-addicted relative of the mongoose family carefully and expertly selects the choicest coffee beans in the forest, eats them, and then excretes them while reading the Wall Street Journal.  Enterprising locals, looking for a good laugh and a fast buck, began harvesting the beans and selling them to unsuspecting tourists and, eventually, the beans caught on and became something of a delicacy.  I would highly recommend that you try this coffee if you ever have an opportunity; I can truthfully say that, despite its origins, Civet coffee really does taste great!  Civit coffee will prove to be both the best and the crappiest cup of coffee, literally, that you’ll ever taste.  Cheers!

Dunn Bros Coffee Shoppe Stoppe

Well, saturday evening church at Milestone has just ended and now I’m here at my favorite local Dunn Bros Coffee Shop with Amber.  A lady and her husband are in one corner playing some upbeat folk music…the flyer on the wall gives the following website for the duo.  Our coffee minstrels have, so far, played a few songs from A Mighty Wind, so these folks are pretty entertaining.  I really like this Dunn Bros because it always seems to promote live local music and local artists…also, one of the baristas drives an honest-to-goodness Mystery Machine (man, hippies have the coolest rides).

Room for Cream…Udderly Unacceptable

I don’t really get the whole “room for cream” thing when I go out for a cup of coffee. When a barista says “room for cream,” he or she is really asking me if I want either a full cup of coffee or a half cup of coffee. Apparently, when the major coffee company big-wigs were signing their contracts with the devil, it was decided that America would, on average, require equal proportions of coffee and cream. What started out as a good thing has turned into a coffee lover’s nightmare. My fear is that, in the years ahead, the coffee shops will give us a cup of cream and ask us if we would like room for coffee. Now, I’ve made coffee for a very long time, so I know that the actual cost of a cup of joe is very small. Dairy products, on the other hand, have dramatically risen in price as of late, which has led some coffee chains to increase the cost of a cup of coffee. So, those of us who only want a small amount of cream are being forced to pay two forms of taxation upon our coffee, in addition to regular sales tax. First, we are paying an overall price increase on creamer that we don’t desire. Second, we are paying an unseen tax upon the full price of a cup of coffee by receiving less liquid than what we are owed. My estimates are that for every four or five cups of coffee that I buy, I lose a full cup due to the “room for cream” effect. Whenever I order a large coffee (or whatever the particular chain prefers to call it), on average, I receive a medium cup of coffee in a large cup; if I had wanted a medium cup of coffee, that is what I would have ordered. But, the baristas don’t seem to understand this. So, what I recommend is that, when you pay for a full cup of coffee ($2.00) and you only receive three-fourths of a cup of coffee ($1.50), you should reach in the tip jar and get your change ($.50).