Amber drove my car last night, so, once again, we had a discussion about the setting of the driver’s seat. I am told that I drive like a ‘gangster,’ with my seat shifted too far back. Basically, I am told that my seat appears to be set rather like a loose lazy boy on game day…and the chip crumbs on the floorboards probably reinforce that perception. So, every time Amber or anyone else drives my car – especially the good folks at service centers – my seat is pulled up such that, when I enter the car, my knees are covering the dashboard and it looks like I’m in stirrups, giving birth to a steering wheel. After another driver has had his or her go at my car, I get in and, after pulling my knee caps out of the air vents, I reset the seat settings and look for the miniature human that did this to me. This leads me to believe that my car might make an awesome clown car – If you’re a clown or you work at a circus, please make me an offer. My thoughts are that the airline industry has deviously led us all to believe that we can’t have leg room anymore. Anyway, if you look in your rearview mirror and you see a car that appears to have no one in it, just a set of knuckles on the steering wheel, it’s either me, a gang-banger or an 80-year old lady. In either case, give us room because we are very relaxed and we certainly can’t see much.
March 11, 2008
No Clowning Around behind the Wheel