Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

March 13, 2008

Bags Under My Eyes

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 11:41 pm

Amber and I just returned from another trip to Wally World, and our plastic bag collection is now bigger than ever.  No matter how quickly we use our Wal Mart bags to throw out trash, our collection of bags continues to grow.  Sometimes I hear strange noises in the pantry closet and, upon opening the door, I will hear Barry Manilow’s music playing and see two bags laying there in an embrace, with the smell of cheap gin and cigarettes in the air.  The collection has grown.  Sometimes I’ll look in the pantry and there will be little adopted bags from other grocery stores, laying there, creating hybrid department store bags.  The collection grows.  Sometimes I’ll come home after a hard day and find that some of the bags have escaped the pantry and are reading the mail on the counter or sitting on the couch watching ESPN with new bags (probably from one of the neighbors’ houses).  The collection grows.  Sometimes I even fear for the safety of my family with so many bags in the house.  The collection grows…

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