Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

April 1, 2008

Every Day is April Fool’s Day

Filed under: Politics — dangrdave @ 1:41 pm

Happy April Fool’s Day to one and all! This is the time of year when we, the cubicle-dwelling employees of America, wipe the sleep from our eyes, poke our heads up from our three-walled prisons and nervously glance, prairie dog-like, around our offices in search of an opportunity to pull a good prank. Yet, at the end of the day, when all of the whoopee cushions have popped, the joy buzzers are exhausted and countless Atomic Wedgies have ripped the waistbands out of our underwear, we realize that April Fool’s Day is really just a day like any other. To that in a moment; but, first, as a man who accepts good critique, I will endeavor to remember the importance and good manners of paragraph breaks (chemical symbol: ¶). So, without further ado: a new paragraph…

Wow, that wasn’t so bad…I feel a little dizzy, but that might just be from that prank in the office parking lot where a lady sprayed me with mace for holding the door open for her.

Anyway, as I mentioned, every day can be April Fool’s Day, if you are astute and disciplined enough to watch the hype that is being promoted on our news channels. I have had a hankering over the past few months that we weren’t really in a recession, just like I have had a pretty good idea that global warming isn’t really everything that we are being told that it is. 

On Fox News this morning, I came across the following article, by John Lott, which basically concludes that the only recession that America is going through right now is a recession of free thinking and independent judgment. Though the actual data show that we are slowing, no data indicate that we are actually in a recession (definition: two consecutive quarters of negative growth); but, then again, data do not always make for a good story. The media seems to have duped us into believing that things are worse than they are; to be sure, things aren’t the brightest they’ve ever been, but we should not allow our media or our politicians to play on our fears for their own benefit (i.e., election).

On the global warming front, the plan for mass persuasion and building a social movement with paid advertising is starting up in full swing. Al Gore’s Alliance for Climate Protection will soon begin its $300 million ad campaign, targeting all of the media outlets. 

People are like lemmings: all you have to do is panic some of them and a good many of the rest will follow. If you want to believe that we are in a recession or that global warming is a reality, as opposed to a natural cycle of earth’s heating and cooling, then, at the very least, come to that conclusion without the help of the national media…it’s the only way to stop every day from being April Fool’s Day.

Now that all of that unpleasant business is out of the way, you may resume your office pranks.



  1. I cannot speak to the economy of the entire country, but I can give you specific examples from my personal life. In the first week (WEEK as in 1/1/2008-1/7/2008) of this year my conservative mutual fund lost more money than it had made in the previous 2 years. In that same period my 401k, also with 75% conservative investments, lost over half of it’s value. Since that time both have continued to decline steadily.

    We may not be in a recession by the definition of the word, but I do know one thing for certain. The economy is headed that way and Bush doesn’t seem to care. His only solution is to increase our national deficit which has already grown to record levels under the Republican policies of frivolous spending and ridiculous tax cuts for the wealthy. Is the media exaggerating the problem? Probably so, but I’d rather they do that than claim there is no problem.

    Comment by Thomas — April 2, 2008 @ 3:18 pm

  2. Thomas, my only advice would be to not look at your 401K for a while. Every time I look at my retirement package, I have to chew through a whole package of Rolaids®. After I calm down, I realize that investing is about the long term, even it that phrase sounds old and uncaring. Now, I’m not an investment advisor, but I would say that if you are too heavily invested in conservative funds, you aren’t really going to grow much over the long run. Try something a little more risky where you’ll earn a lot on the upswings; this will make you feel a little better during the downturns and, hopefully, over the long-run, you’ll grow at a nice pace.

    Comment by Dave — April 2, 2008 @ 5:42 pm

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