Happy April Fool’s Day to one and all! This is the time of year when we, the cubicle-dwelling employees of America, wipe the sleep from our eyes, poke our heads up from our three-walled prisons and nervously glance, prairie dog-like, around our offices in search of an opportunity to pull a good prank. Yet, at the end of the day, when all of the whoopee cushions have popped, the joy buzzers are exhausted and countless Atomic Wedgies have ripped the waistbands out of our underwear, we realize that April Fool’s Day is really just a day like any other. To that in a moment; but, first, as a man who accepts good critique, I will endeavor to remember the importance and good manners of paragraph breaks (chemical symbol: ¶). So, without further ado: a new paragraph…
Wow, that wasn’t so bad…I feel a little dizzy, but that might just be from that prank in the office parking lot where a lady sprayed me with mace for holding the door open for her.
Anyway, as I mentioned, every day can be April Fool’s Day, if you are astute and disciplined enough to watch the hype that is being promoted on our news channels. I have had a hankering over the past few months that we weren’t really in a recession, just like I have had a pretty good idea that global warming isn’t really everything that we are being told that it is.
On Fox News this morning, I came across the following article, by John Lott, which basically concludes that the only recession that America is going through right now is a recession of free thinking and independent judgment. Though the actual data show that we are slowing, no data indicate that we are actually in a recession (definition: two consecutive quarters of negative growth); but, then again, data do not always make for a good story. The media seems to have duped us into believing that things are worse than they are; to be sure, things aren’t the brightest they’ve ever been, but we should not allow our media or our politicians to play on our fears for their own benefit (i.e., election).
On the global warming front, the plan for mass persuasion and building a social movement with paid advertising is starting up in full swing. Al Gore’s Alliance for Climate Protection will soon begin its $300 million ad campaign, targeting all of the media outlets.
People are like lemmings: all you have to do is panic some of them and a good many of the rest will follow. If you want to believe that we are in a recession or that global warming is a reality, as opposed to a natural cycle of earth’s heating and cooling, then, at the very least, come to that conclusion without the help of the national media…it’s the only way to stop every day from being April Fool’s Day.
Now that all of that unpleasant business is out of the way, you may resume your office pranks.