According to what I have extrapolated from some recent articles (to be presented in a moment), now is definitely the time to get married. Yes, from sea to shining sea, nothing sets the stage for a good solid marriage like getting tasered and hauled off to jail during your reception.
Wedding Tip #1: Pick Colors that Go Well With Prison Decor
Yesterday, I learned of the case in Vallejo, California, wherein one lucky groom and his cousin were tasered and arrested after the reception “got out of hand.” I am still trying to locate a transcript of the cousin’s toast, as I am sure that is what caused things to “get out of hand.” The bride, not wishing to be outdone or outclassed, was hauled off for public intoxication. No details have emerged as to when this couple will appear on the Jerry Springer show.
Wedding Tip #2: Music is Something Worth Fighting For
Today, we learned of a case all the way across the country, in Port Chester, New York, wherein a dispute over music at the reception led to the tasering and arrests of a groom and his 21-year old daughter; the bride was taken in for “felony criminal mischief.” I can only wonder what precisely the band was playing to cause such a memorable event to occur (Hansen, Air Supply, etc.).
It’s Your Day…Do It Your Way
Remember, nothing makes your day special like getting knocked unconscious by a high-voltage taser and being drug across the dance floor in a tux or a $3,000 wedding dress. Some weddings are forgetful, but if you plan well, your wedding can be something that is talked about from sea to shining sea.