Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

April 9, 2008

What Would You Give to be an Oxymoron?

Filed under: Coffee Time — dangrdave @ 1:50 pm

I was thinking about a funny oxymoronic quote that I recently read. Apparently, someone very smart once said:

“I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”

Regarding this quote, I want to introduce some trivia. Did you, the astute reader of my blog, know that President Garfield was ambidextrous and could write in Latin with his left hand and Greek with his right? It is also believed, though not confirmed, that, at the same time, Garfield could write French with his left foot and Russian with his right foot, though his teachers always gave him bad marks for his penmanship and for unsightly foot stains on his papers. Vice-President Odie, on the other hand, much like Dan Quayle, was unable to write in any language, including English.

Anyway, thinking about this neat oxymoronic quote caused me to think along the same lines; that’s why I’m writing this post with my left foot. Just kidding. I’m using my right foot. But, beyond my physical dexterity, I used my mental dexterity to think of some other interesting twists to the above-mentioned line of oxymoronic thinking. Here is what I have come up with in the three and four-thirds minutes that I allotted to this exercise:

“I’d give my right eye to have perfect vision.”

“I’d give my left leg to be able to dance the two-step.”

“I’d give my left lung to be able to quit smoking.”

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1 Comment »

  1. “I’d give my left ear to paint like Van Gogh.”

    Comment by Ghosty — April 10, 2008 @ 2:59 pm


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