Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

April 23, 2008

Pimples Make it Simple: The Debate Cools Down

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 1:45 pm

Well, throw another log in the fireplace because it looks like perhaps the global warming debate may be “cooling down” a bit. That’s right, according to recent reports of decreased sunspot activity, we may actually be on the cusp of a new “ice age.”

Due to the urgency of this news, I will be blunt in my analysis. Sunspots are like pimples on a teenager’s face; ceteris paribus, the fewer there are, the “cooler” you are. Yes, the sun’s complexion appears to be clear, despite the fact that it should have entered into a pimply phase more than a year ago.

To make another analogy regarding sun spots, we may liken their cycles to that of women’s cycles. Each sunspot cycle lasts approximately 11 years; however, sunspot cycle number 24 does not seem to have occurred. That can mean only one thing: Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet and nature lover, impregnated the sun! No, wait…what it means is that the sun may be about to “deliver” a new period of global cooling.

Mr. Thomas Lifson brought up a very interesting point in his American Thinker write-up of this topic. Mr. Lifson mentioned that, although the science on this isn’t settled, if we are entering a period of global cooling, then some of our efforts to reverse global warming may actually be catastrophic and highly counter productive.

I believe that we need to be prudent in ensuring that we respect the world in which we live without sacrificing our freedom of consumption and our national economic viability unnecessarily to the god of unproven Global Warming.

The “warmers” say that global warming will cause humans to sweat so much that perspiration causes the sea level to rise three feet; the “coolers” might say that Al Gore will one day be using a light-saber to slice open the stomach of a Ton-Ton® to stay warm with his Nobel Peace Prize. The best course of action is not to get too excited and not to react too far in either direction. I predict that we’ll be somewhere in the middle…a comfortable middle.



  1. It’s Fox News. No wonder everyone’s confused.

    Comment by Ghosty — April 23, 2008 @ 3:48 pm

  2. There should really be no confusion, Ghosty; ton-tons are the best way to stay warm.

    Comment by dangrdave — April 23, 2008 @ 9:10 pm

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