Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

October 30, 2008

Something Fishy

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 11:19 am

I was recently thinking about fish for some reason.  My mind hearkened back to the good ole saying:

You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or you can teach a man to fish and give him a reason to sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

As I thought about this profound statement, I thought it might need a little updating for today’s world.  In honor of the season, I have changed that classic saying to the following:

You can teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime, or you can just give him his neighbor’s fish as a tax on productivity and create a socialist utopia.

Of course, the one man still will not know how to fish and will end up becoming a dependent of the socialist utopia.  The man who knows how to fish will end up either hiding his fish or fishing less in order to avoid taxation.  In either case, the quantity of fish available for all will decline because the utopia will have created incentives that tax productivity and reward lethargy.

So, kiddies, if you tax the risk takers, less risk will be taken and the total overall quantity of benefit from the risk will decline.  Risk takers are being threatened with a no-win proposition: if the risk doesn’t pay off they lose and if the risk does pay off they lose by taxation.  By raising taxes on our entrepreneurs that take risks and create jobs, less jobs will be created, less investment will occur and the overall health of our nation will decline.

Just something to think about.  Now get back in your boats and keep drinking!


October 29, 2008

Strange People in N’Awlins

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 11:22 am

Amber and I recently visited the city of New Orleans.  When we arrived, we went to the French Quarter, where I noticed that most of the buildings were in a very poor state and some were even falling down.  I remember falling to my knees and crying out in the street, cursing the hurricanes that wreaked such destruction.  As I was doing this, a local tapped me on the shoulder and told me that the French Quarter had always looked like this due to its being hundreds of years old.  I apologized to the startled onlookers, got up, dusted myself off and went on down the street.

Man, you see some strange stuff in N’Awlins.

October 28, 2008

The Continued Road to Socialism

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 11:23 am

I have written before about a cartoon that everyone in America should read (please read it here).  This cartoon basically explains how socialism takes over a country, and the author won a Nobel Prize for his work.

Now, this election season is so similar, in my opinion, to what occurred back then and there are so many paralells that it is just plain weird.  The times are different and the actors have changed, but the underlying concept remains the same.  Basically, it is my belief that great countries can never be taken over by terrorists or by guerrillas; great countries can only be taken over by a propaganda machine that is able to rewrite history, effect the markets and change the sentiments of the people.

Our news media is doing its dead-level best to scare Americans into voting for the candidate that it supports.  There is very little objectivity out there for Americans to make rationally informed choices.

The economy, I believe, has tanked because the main stream media incessantly, yet without cause, inundaded Americans’ minds with the belief that we were in a recession.  This was done in order to rally Americans to the cause that they support, which is a cause that most Americans would otherwise not support, ceteris paribus.  In order to gather support for the takeover of a country, you must have a tough situation around which you can rally the people…and you have to create a scapegoat.

So, my belief is that most Americans this election season will basically have their votes cast for them by the main stream media instead of their personal core beliefs and convictions.  We no longer, to quote a good man, vote based upon the content of a person’s character; we now vote based upon the lies that have been told to us by our media.  We have left behind our brains as we have been caught up in the tide of propoganda.

Now, perhaps what I am writing is propaganda…perhaps it is the truth.  Either way, dear reader, you should examine the facts for yourself and make a wise decision about what really is going on in this country.  If you can vote with a clean concience after thoroughly examining everything, including specific positions that may violate your personal beliefs about abortion, socialism or free markets, then that is all that can be asked.

October 27, 2008

Signs of the Times

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:51 am

I went into the men’s restroom of my local Pei Wei today and noticed a sign that indicated something to the effect that I should not drink if I suspect myself of being pregnant.  I was warned of the bad consequences of drinking while with child, which included the possibility of damaging the child’s brain (which would qualify him or her for the position of Senator or Congressman).  The one question that I had, however, was why such a sign was posted in the men’s room.  The sign probably had something to do with bringing the restaurant into code compliance, but it had absolutely nothing to do with the way the real world works.

Now that I think about this, it causes me to question the other sign that I saw in the restroom (no, not the one scrawled on the wall with a Sharpie by an undiscovered poet); it was the one that read “All employees must wash hands before returning to work” and “Todos los empleados deben de lavarse las manos antes de regresar al trabajo o nos llamaremos a la migra.”  Now, how irrelevant of a sign is that?  Only a fool would honestly suspect that the workers employed here would actually take the time to wash their hands.  The sign is most likely on the wall for two purposes: 1) to meet code and 2) to ease the fears of customers.

My guess is that the hand-washing sign is only there because it has to be and because it provides customers with a sense of well being.  I know better, but I still eat out.  I try not to think about the sanitary conditions surrounding the preparation of my food, because I enjoy it better when such thoughts aren’t in my head.  And, in any case, I’m probably immune to any germs that may be inhabiting my taco grande or kung pao because I have traveled to foreign countries and some domestic states where the word “sanitary” isn’t in the dictionary.

Bon Apatite!

October 19, 2008

Hiatus Time

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:27 pm

Well, I will be taking a hiatus for a week or so in order to do some personal business, but before leaving I wanted to ask a question that I intensely thought about for about five seconds while brushing my teeth this morning:

If you played first chair bass in the high school band, is it technically a lie to tell people in conversation that you played first bass in high school?

Have fun and be good to eachother.


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