Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

March 29, 2009

Mouthgasmicly Delicious!

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:36 am

I photographed a wedding today with my wife and I enjoyed the Groom’s Cake so much that I boldly stated, within earshot of the happily married couple:

“This cake is mouthgasmically delicious.  I think I need to go sit in the corner and smoke a cigarette.”

I don’t think the bride and groom will be asking me to photograph their next wedding…


March 27, 2009

Go Ahead…Mac My Day!

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 2:11 pm

Here’s my thought for today*:

A world without Mac is a world that I wouldn’t want to live in.  I am so glad that I came to the saving knowledge of the grace that is Mac.

*(note: I actually plan to have more thoughts than this today, just in case you’re wondering.)

March 26, 2009

Cellular Work Stations

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:53 am

Sometimes the differences between a padded cell and a fabric-lined work cubicle can get blurred, the only noticeable difference being that someone brings you free food in the padded cell…in the office, you have to follow all of the larger, sweatpant-clad workers around to find the free food.

March 25, 2009

Where the Rubber Hits the Road

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:26 am

It was bound to happen: 300 condom workers are getting the shaft (here). These workers are being stiffed by U.S. Agency for International Development, which will be sending their jobs to China (Scientific note: out of the 300 jobs that go to China , only the first one to reach an egg will become fertilized).  The condoms, you see, are sent to poor, promiscuous nations, such as Haiti and West Virginia , where, without American intervention, the locals would have to use other methods of birth control, such as using prophylactic beaver pelts or wearing Lyle Lovett face masks.

This massive job loss makes no condom sense to me. Apparently, it was found that Chinese condoms only cost two cents to make, compared with American condoms, which cost a nickel to produce.  Now, if Chinese dog food and Chinese baby formula are any indicators of the quality of prophylactic that we’ll see, then I predict a global population explosion very soon.  I thought that we, as a nation, were trying to save small business jobs, such as condom producers; where is the stimulus help for these hard up workers (Health warning: contact your doctor if stimulus lasts more than three (3) hours)?

March 23, 2009

Dave’s Thought of the Day

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 11:09 am

The amazing thing about coffee is how amazing it is.

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