Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

March 4, 2009

More Fiber for Lent!

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:11 am

I remember posting a blog entry about lint before (click here to reminisce with me about it); and, being that we are in the season on Lent, I figured it was time to re-visit this deep and seemingly imponderable topic…or is it so imponderable?  Not according to an Austrian (G’Day Mate!) chemist, Georg Steinhauser, who ‘bucked’ the cynics who laughed at his three-year mission to study belly buttons and discover the source from whence lint comes (here).  Here, for your reading pleasure, is a short summary of Mr. Steinhauserstein’s pioneering research:

Abdominal hair is mainly responsible for the accumulation of navel lint.  Therefore, this is a typically male phenomenon. The abdominal hair collects fibers from cotton shirts and directs them into the navel where they are compacted to a felt-like matter.

Mr. Steindoogiehauser went on to sum it all up with the following bold, scientific observation: “Lint might … fulfill a cleaning function for the navel.”  Obviously, this man’s three-year research was not in vain!

This groundbreaking research leaves us with several questions:

1) What if a woman had a hairy belly button?  Would her belly button actually be cleaner than those of other women?

2) Would I be considered a humanitarian if I offered my wife – ‘lent’ her – some of my belly button lint so that she could be as clean as me?

3) If abdominal hair collects lint from clothes so easily, then why doesn’t head hair collect lint from hats or hair on other regions of the body collect lint from the items of clothing that surrounds it?

4) Why didn’t Mr. Bensteinhauser figure out why shirts don’t have holes in the belly button area if they suck in so much fiber?

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