Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

March 8, 2009

If I Could Turn Back Time

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 1:35 pm

Well, as many of you may be aware, last night was the end of the dreaded “Daylight Savings Time,” which was enacted by Congress in the wake of the Savings and Time (S&T) Crisis of the mid 1980’s.  During this time, Congress gave S&Ts, or “Thrift Stores,” the power to turn back time time by one hour.  The folk singer, Cher, even wrote a song about this crisis, called “Turn Back Time.”  An interesting note is that two of our beloved states, Arizona and Hawaii, actually decided to outlaw the use of time, rather than give into the political pressures to change the state’s space time continuum twice a year.

For the rest of America, as a result of this change, every year we “fall back” or “spring forward” by one hour.  Many times, we don’t know when this change will occur; however, regulators have told us that the “fall back” occurs during autumn and the “spring forward” occurs sometime between winter and summer.  Our most recent time change occurred at exactly 2:00 AM on this morning (Sunday).  Most Americans never realize it has occurred until they show up an hour late to church, arriving just in time for the offering bucket to be passed.  Most non-church-goers don’t find out about the time change until they arrive at work late on Monday morning and get fired.

Most people don’t follow the directions regarding time changes.  Most people either set their clocks forward or backwards (note: this doesn’t apply to VCRs, because ordinary people aren’t smart enough to know how to do this) before bedtime or after waking up, if they remember.  I come from a family, though, where we set our alarm for 2:00 AM, wake up, hold a small ceremony for the occasion, and go back to bed.  To me, it just doesn’t seem right to buck the rules by not getting up at 2:00 AM.  We had a great ceremony this year, complete with cake, balloons, clowns, presents and a fried rabbit.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it has been a long night and I need to catch up on my sleep.

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