Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

April 25, 2009

When Pigs Flew

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 10:24 pm

First we had avian flu, which had something to do with people sharing Avian bottled water with chickens.  This “sharing” of bottled water resulted in a form of mono, called bird flu, that resulted in Asian people developing strange desires to scratch (especially for seed), a general feeling of being down (especially around pillows), and low self-confidence that stymied their ascension in pecking orders.

Now, according to the WHO, which is a group of bespectacled owl-looking people who ask a lot of questions, there is a new potential pandemic threat called pig flu (here).  Actually, since this threat involves pigs, it would be better to call it a “hamdemic” than a pandemic.  Sources indicate that pig flu originally began in Hamburg and quickly moved to Mexico, where about one hundred policemen succumbed to the horrible disease.  A few cases have been reported in California, where, most notably, Miss Piggy was found dead.

The WHO experts now estimate that in 2010 the world will experience a chipmunk flu pandemic, followed by a woodchuck pandemic in 2011.  Even though lots of people live with dogs and cats, there is no indication as of yet that they have been sneezing on each other; so, no pandemic is on the radar there.

The best prevention is medicine, so says the old saying.  So, if you have a pig, please remember to give it Pig-Strength Theraflu and let it stay in bed to regain its strength…and, remember to tell it to cover its snout when it sneezes.

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