Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

April 26, 2009

Freeloading 101

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 1:01 pm

I just received a video link, which proves that there are others like me in the world.  You see, here in Texas, we have a grocery store called Central Market, which, in addition to selling good-quality produce and strange organic and foreign foods, also gives away tons of free samples.  Sometimes the store fires up the grills outside and patrons can walk around sampling different meats.  Lord have mercy when Central Market holds the Hatch Chile Festival outside the front doors.

Anyway, from there, you walk in to the fruit and vegetable section, where fresh watermelon, apples and oranges are already sliced up and ready for customers to eat.  Next, you walk up to a cooking station, where a couple of jolly ladies are usually cooking up some salmon and some more beef.  You can usually follow this with some fruit juice chasers, before moving past the seafood section (don’t forget to sample the salmon dip or the shrimp cocktail) to the beer and wine section.

A “foodie” will usually have some beer or wine opened up, offering samples to you as you walk by.  Once you’ve finished with your wine, why not try the coffee that’s all brewed up before you grab a handful of those chips?  Now, you have to play it safe and not let your stomach get too full at this point, because the best is yet to come.  Past the chips, you’ll usually find some independent sodas and juices for the sampling, along with some other snack items, like pretzels.

Next, you arrive at the holy grail of Central Market: The Cheese Section!  Customers are greeted at the cheese section with big plates full of cubed treats.  If you’re skilled enough with the sample toothpick, you can lance a least four chunks of cheese, and perhaps earn some bonus chunks of cheese that cling to the sides of the lanced cheese.  From here, yo move to the deli, where you can sample more cheeses, along with meats, in addition to whatever the corner lady is cooking up (usually some quesadillas).  Then, you’ll want to sample all of the different breads that the store has to offer.

Most people think this is the end of the Central Market buffet, but every once in a while the sushi rollers will have California Rolls out for sampling, the hot food section will have pizzas for sampling, or there will be a special holiday set up.  Last year, around Thanksgiving, a lady was giving out turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy.  From here, you walk out the doors, where you have two choices: go home or go back for seconds.

Anyway, a friend sent me a great link, which I mentioned earlier and which I hope you watch: Central Market: A Freeloader’s Dream.

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