This evening, I went with my wife and daughter to Baskin-Robbins, which, as everyone certainly knows, held its annual 31-cent scoop night tonight. That’s right, tonight and tonight only, ambitious Americans have the unique opportunity to try a scoop of each of Baskin-Robbins’ 31 flavors for the low, low price of only $9.61, excluding taxes! Then, those same ambitious Americans will have another unique opportunity to spend the evening throwing up into their home toilets! Fortunately for America, Baskin-Robbins had some misspelled cheaply printed papers taped to the windows that announced that customers were only allowed “three 31-cent scoop of ice cream.” Alas, my dream of eating a bucket full of thirty-one flavors of ice cream at once will have to wait.
One unique thing that my wife and I noticed at Baskin-Robbins was that there were triplets working the counter. That’s right, there were three red-headed guys wearing glasses who looked exactly the same. As I never want to miss an opportunity for a good joke, I asked one of the guys, “Hey, are y’all triplets, or am I just seeing double?” Perhaps the throngs of people with snotty faced kids standing in line, yearning to ingest cheap ice cream, took some of the steam out of my humor. I just got a nervous smile…the fellow was most likely feeling under the counter, to the left of the cashier’s dried booger-wipings, for the silent alarm. Oh, well…at least I had my ice cream. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I just realized that Americans don’t need 31 ‘scoop’ of ice cream to feel like throwing up!