Dave’s Strange and Unusual World

January 23, 2010

‘Steak’ing His Territory

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 10:47 pm

I came across a recent story of a man – Robert T. Jenkins – who marinated…I mean urinated, all over approximately $600 worth of steaks at an Ohio Wal-Mart (here).  Can someone say “cleanup in aisle 6?”  Now, I always knew that there were some shady people at Wal-Mart, as can be seen by People of Wal-Mart, but urinating on steaks is just downright disgusting and wasteful, not to mention discriminatory against chicken and pork.  Also, Mr. Jenkins was in union country and, according to my sources, only an authorized Teamsters union member is allowed to pee on Wal-Mart steaks.

January 5, 2010

McNugget Rage…the New Roid Rage

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:21 am

Well, I came across a recent story about a woman in Ohio who was arrested for punching out a drive-through window at McDonalds because she couldn’t get any Chicken McNuggets (read it here).  Now, I knew that some people enjoyed eating their Chicken McNuggets (which, incidentally, are made from a special recipe involving chicken-flavored sponges, breading, and scalp flakes from the fry guy), but I never had any idea that someone could get so upset that they would punch out a drive-through window.  Instead of breaking your hand on a window, I would like to recommend breaking your hand karate-chopping the plastic Ronald McDonald statue in the children’s play cage.

December 12, 2009

Blogged Arteries

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 7:06 pm

I wanted to throw an ole-fashioned “shout-out” to my good friend, Shawn, who is about to embark upon one of man’s greatest endeavors…eating hamburgers for sport.  No…Shawn will not be competitively eating hamburgers, ’cause, let’s face it, competitive eating is dangerous (read about it here).  What Shawn will be doing is bravely going to many different restaurants in the DFW area and selflessly putting his arteries on the line for the greater benefit of mankind (which is more than Obama has done thus far and, therefore, much more deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize).  Shawn will rate and review these “burger joints” on many different criteria, such as portion, presentation, service, freshness, uniqueness, cleanliness, and the size of the zit infestation on the fry guy’s forehead (which is nature’s most reliable predictor of the amount of grease in the food).  Shawn’s website is called BlogABurger, and I encourage – nay, I command – each of you to go there first before taking your chances in this cruel, dark world, where there are so many unknowns when it comes to hamburgers.  Below is Shawn’s calling card.

December 10, 2009

Both Jaw-Dropping and Mind-Blowing!

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 2:57 am

I read a jaw-dropping story today about exploding bubble gum (here).  According to the article, an unnamed Ukranian student had a habit of dipping his gum in citric acid (note: I seriously expected this story to be about a Polish student and not a Ukranian student); sources believe his frat buddies may have tried to have a little fun with him by replacing the citric acid with some sort of explosive material…all in good fun, eh?  Well, as you might have guessed, the young Ukranian’s head actually blew off and he was found dead.  Ah, good ole-fashioned college pranks!

December 8, 2009

The Brainwashing of Our Children Continues…

Filed under: Knee-Slappingly Funny — dangrdave @ 12:47 pm

I recently came across an article here where students in Missouri are able to purchase nice little notebooks and pencils that can also serve as political propaganda for the Obama administration.  Note: it’s easier to create a  pliant little society of young socialists if you can reiterate your message of “change” at every step, even if you have to put it on notebooks and pencils.

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