If you were lucky like me this Christmas season, then you too know the joy associated with receiving Burger King’s new signature fragrance, Flame. According to Burger King, Flame mixes the “scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Oh, mama! And, if I know women, like I think I do, then you too must surely know that most women get seriously “turned-on” by the smell of cheap, flame-broiled meat that’s been served by a pimply faced teenager in a greasy, sweat-stained blue uniform. Ah, the memories that this fragrance will bring to those around me…
So, watch out, ladies, Burger King has single-handedly brought to America a machismo fragrance that will have you drooling. Hordes of America’s best young men will soon be taking to the streets, smelling like they just walked out of a chimney…some of these men will probably be hunted down and devoured by ravenous packs of street dogs that mistake them for hamburgers with droopey pants, but that’s the price to pay for seduction.
Thank you, Santa Clause!